Tuesday, May 20, 2008

You Live, You Learn

Remember that song by Alanis Morisette? Just asking...

I have been learning all sorts of fabulous things from my two year old lately. I had no idea she was so insanely smart. I bet your toddlers are just as smart. In case they are 'slow' I'll share in the wisdom of my wee one....

1. If you want something....scream. whine. throw yourself on the floor if you have to. It may take several hours of this, but in the end your dad will give you whatever you want. It doesn't work with the momma. So, only use these tactics with the father figure. Sure, mom will be angry, but you get what you want. And that's all that matters right?

2. Dora is cute. Her songs are catchy. Learn them and sing them at the top of your lungs. Your parents will think you are cute too....like Dora.

3. If you want to sleep with your parents wait until 3:00 in the morning to crawl into bed with them. They will be to tired to do anything about it.

4. Dresses should be worn every day. It doesn't matter if everyone ends up seeing your panties. What's modesty? I haven't learned that word yet. And getting dirty? It's all part of the fun.

5. Markers are better than crayons. Especially for books, walls, and doors.

6. Doritos are a food group.

7. Whatever your brother can do....you can do it too.

8. Baths should be taken several times a day. If you get yourself dirty, your mom will make you take one. So get dirty a lot.

9. Learn phrases such as, "But, mommy....I want you." and "Mommy.......wuuuuuvvvv youuuuu." Use them frequently. They are heart melters.

10. Pretend you can't hear or don't understand. Your parents might let you get away with it. If they've caught you pretending...give them a sassy smile and do it anyway.

But I'm sure your toddlers knew all of this stuff too......

13 comments:

Montay said...

So I think she is a genuis Love the Wuuuvvv yooooo!!!

Anonymous said...

I just want to know when our toddles became so stinkin smart. Parker can get away with murder most days because he lays his head on his own shoulder and gives you a big smile and bats his amazing blue eyes and I know I've lost.

Rachelle

The Orton's said...

Very cute post...I remember those days. Cherish them because they grow up fast. Don't worry though, they stay smart and know how to outwit you even as teenagers!;)

Motherhood for Dummies said...

such a cute post! Granted I havn't learn that much yet... our little girl is only 7 months... but wow... how much changes :)

Amber M. said...

Toddler? How about my 4-year-old. :-)

~Virginia~ said...

wait a minute...you mean doritos are NOT a food group? :)

Momma Mary said...

I hear you!!

I so dislike Dora and her YELLING ALL THE TIME AND SCREAMING ABOUT THE MAP AND THE MAP THE MAP THE MAP THE MAP. Sometimes the repitition and yelling make me want to poke out my eyes with a knife, and fill my ears with peanut butter.

But yeah, I hear ya!

Paula said...

Funny. Life lessons from a two year old, I love it. We are starting to get to that class. Slowly learning, but I am sure sooner than later, we will be right in the middle of these lessons.

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

hi ashlee -- i love that about scream until you get what you want. hehe. i should try that at work tomorrow, eh? nope.

i love the heart melters! awh. you are blessed, girl.

peace (and warm fuzzies), kathleen

Jane the Sane said...

My almost ten month old knows some of this stuff. She's quite precocious. I don't want her learning the rest of it though so I am afraid we won't be coming over to play. She's practically a teenager already, I don't want her to be a TODDLER too.

Christie said...

We are powerless to resist them, and they totally know it. Dang smart kids!

Alicia said...

It all makes sense to me... NOT!!!, but what are we gonna do?

Buxton Family said...

I think I need to take some lessons from her!