Thursday, May 22, 2008

4 years and counting

I was a single mom. Because of this I had to work full time. My son was my entire life at that point and so dating wasn't really important to me. I worked all day, so my nights were dedicated to him. The only dating I did back then was blind dates. My friends would set me up with some guy and it would never make it past a second date. If there was no connection, it wasn't worth it to me to keep it going. Fun dating wasn't an option, because it took precious time away from my son. My neighbor set me up with a guy from one of her college classes. She said we were a perfect fit because I was a "Molly Mormon" and he was a "Norman Mormon". Ummm....ok. She obviously didn't know me as well as she thought she did. :0) She knew I loved to bake and that I loved family time. Apparently that makes you a Super-Mormon or something. {If that's the case...a lot of you that aren't Mormon now qualify as Super Mormon. :0) } Anyway, he came over...and brought his roommate along with him. What? And he came over at 10:00 pm. Ummm....3 year old son. Bedtime....he obviously had no clue. But, I figured I would endure him for a short period of time and he would then graciously leave. It didn't happen that way. He was oblivious to my hints for him to leave. And the conversation? He bore his testimony to me and talked about how his mission made him strong. What? On the first date? Sigh....my son tried to throw him a ball, and he didn't even know how to interact with the kid. He was clueless. The date was HORRIBLE. Blind date hell is how I like to refer to it. I swore I would never go on another blind date after that.

I was an assistant manager at an apartment community at that time. It was after this horrible experience that one of my residents {who I knew from high school} told me that her cousin {who I also went to high school with} had someone she wanted to set me up with. Really? Are you kidding me?

I was such a snot. I told her that I would think about it, but that my answer would be no if his name was Jason {I had already dated a couple of them since getting divorced. I figured they were bad luck} or if he was divorced {because when couples divorce it's always the mans fault right? Can you tell that I was still a little bitter towards men? And how hypocritical could I be? I was divorced for heaven's sake!} I really think I just didn't want to go through another horrible blind date again. Another guy that wouldn't cut it. It was kind of depressing. I had actually just resigned myself to being ok with being a single mom forever. It wouldn't be so bad right?

I ended up saying yes even though his name did turn out to be Jaysen {at least it's spelled differently right?} and he was divorced. I honestly wasn't holding out much hope. I told my friend from high school that we had to double date because there was no way I was going alone with some stranger. So, on October 9, 2003 we all went to Chili's for dinner {Jaysen picked me up at my house though} and then we went bowling. I tied him. Best game I've ever bowled...124! At that point we separated from my friend as they had to get home to their babysitter. Jaysen and I went to Dairy Queen for dessert and stayed there until they closed. I still wasn't sure about him after that first date. We went out again a week later. This time it was just the two of us. We went to see a Nicholas Cage movie and then out for dessert afterwards. We talked for hours again. He liked 80s music. I was intrigued. I still wasn't sure if I liked him or not, but knew there was something. I figured even if we ended up really good friends, it wouldn't be a loss.

Date #3 was exactly a week after date #2 and exactly two weeks after date #1. It was like he wanted to make sure to give the "proper" amount of time in between them. It was during this date that I knew. Which was scary. He accidentally met my son that night. I hadn't introduced them yet because I didn't want Landon to get to know him if he was just going to disappear. But, there was a flood in one of the apartments and so I had to go take care of the emergency call after work. I rushed home to get ready and Jaysen showed up right after I did. I told him to sit down and wait because I needed to touch up a bit. Landon came out with his little basketball and Jaysen taught him how to "slamma jamma". It was adorable. Anyway...our 3rd date was great. He knew I loved photography and so he took me out to Shoshone Falls and gave me a photography lesson {he has a degree in it} with his fabulous camera and all the lenses and cool gadgets that went with it. Afterwards he took me to Sunsations, which is a spa, and hung out for an hour while I got a massage from a masseuse there. He paid for it. :0) And after that we went out to Johnny Carinos for dinner. {Italian...my favorite!} Again...we talked until they were closing. They had to kick us out. It was a fabulous date.

After that, I lost ten pounds. I was stressed out. Have you ever heard about people praying to know if the person they are dating are "the one"? I didn't do that. I prayed that if he wasn't the one that God would make him go away. I was scared because I knew I was falling for him and I didn't want to get hurt again. It was a horrible feeling. Luckily I had a friend that talked me through it and I made it through it. Jaysen never went away. And I'm so glad.

We were married May 22, 2004 in the Boise Temple. It's been four fabulous years. We added a new member to the family since then and are now complete. Landon and I weren't meant to be alone. We needed Jaysen and Kenzee to finish the circle. My heart is so full of love for this man who completely changed my world. He opened my heart up again, when I didn't know if I could let it. His unconditional love for me amazes me. His spunk makes life fun. His compassion and love for our children is truly one of the sexiest things about him. :0) I love him more and more every day. I can't wait for the years to come!

11 comments:

Motherhood for Dummies said...

wow... what an amazing story. I love hearing stories of couples getting together. And I am totally with you on sometimes boys having certain names turn you off. Jeff is the name for me... dated too many bad jeffs

~Virginia~ said...

i can't decide which is cuter--that story or the picture of your happy little family! :) too cute!

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

awh ashlee,

completely beautiful and warm fuzzy post. happy for you guys, kathleen

Don Mills Diva said...

What an absolutely beautiful story - you have a gorgeous family.

Momma Mary said...

Congrats on four years of love. Here's to many more!

Jane the Sane said...

Beautiful family photo and SUCH a great story. I would say you have a beautiful happy ending, but really you have a beautiful beginning.

Bridget said...

What a great story! Happy anniversary!

Sue said...

Awh, sweet! Happy Anniversary!

Cameron said...

Happy Anniversary, Ash!

Christie said...

What a BEAUTIFUL story. Happy endings make me so happy!

utmomof5 said...

Great story!!! SOunds like it was meant to be -- I love the family picture, it is really cute.

I did the same thing with my husband. I was praying he wasn't the one for me because I had plans and did not wan to get married. 14 years later hear we are :)