Tuesday, May 13, 2008

BFF


I'm going to share a warm fuzzy with you here today about this handsome young man to the left here. Normally I write about my family in my family blog. But, there's another part of this story that I must discuss here with all of you. I'll get to that in a moment.
Landon's best friend, Hatim, is from Africa. They moved here last year. I live in Idaho. We are a bunch of white rednecks. :0) OK, so we're not. But the only color we see around here is in flowers. You catching my drift? Landon and his little friend have so much fun playing together. Landon will go over and play at Hatim's house, and then we'll swap the next time and they'll come over here. His friend is such a well behaved, nice little boy. :0) {Glad my son is picking nice friends}
So, to get to the story here...Landon came home off of the bus on Friday with a sad face. Normally when this happens it is because some punk kid on the bus has called him a name. My son is sensitive. He can get his feelings hurt very easily. So, I braced myself for his story of who said what on the bus that day. {Is it wrong that I want to beat these mean kids up?} But, that day his story was different. He told me that a kid made his best friend cry. This mean kid told Hatim that there was no way he'd ever let him come over to his house. I think there was more said, but that's all that Landon would pass on to me. To make his friend cry, something pretty mean must have been said. And because his friend was being picked on, it made Landon sad too.
Now for my warm, fuzzy. My littly boy told that mean kid that he didn't care what he said. That there was nothing that would ever keep him from being friends with Hatim and he would never stop going to his house to play. {Remember these kids are 8}
When my Landon told me that he said this, and that he had stuck up for his friend to the "mean kid" on the bus....my heart was practically bursting with pride. So, when Hatim called on the phone not 5 minutes later inviting him over to play.....how could I say no? We had plans and places to go. But, I couldn't say no. Could I? When I picked up Landon from his friends house his mom thanked me for letting Landon come over on such short notice. She said that her son would have been heartbroken if I had said no, so she was glad we weren't busy. Whew! Glad I let him go. She had heard the story of the "mean kid" too from her son.
Now for the discussion part of this post....the reason I posted this family story on my random blog. Why are kids SO mean? Landon gets made fun of for being smart. They call him a momma's boy, they tell him he's stupid for being smart...{doesn't make sense does it?} I hate seeing his head hung low as he walks home from the bus. I know something happened on the bus. It breaks my heart. I try to tell him to ignore them, but it's hard. I ALWAYS tell him that as long as he knows he's not stupid or any of the mean things they say about him, then that's all that matters. Because those mean kids don't know him. They're just mean. But it still hurts his heart, which means it hurts mine. I remember being picked on in elementary. It affected my self esteem for years.
So...discuss! Honey Bunch posted about this type of thing today as well. I feel helpless at times. What can I do? What do you do?
Sharing is caring! So...share! :0)

11 comments:

Alicia said...

Ok, you asked for it, so I am sharing. When we moved to Massachusetts, I was the new girl at my HS, a freshman, and the teasing started. I think they all liked me, but some of the teasing just hurt, particularly becasue I was not a size 2 and I had 5 sisters and I was a Mormon, I didn't drink or swear, you get it. I came home daily in tears, they made fun of everything. My mom said some of the most powerful words, that have stuck with me. She told me to "Kill 'em with kindness" So I did, when they made fun of me, I complimented them, I stayed their friend, and by the time I moved away, this group who teased me to tears on a daily basis the first year I was there, asked if they could throw me a non-drinking going away party. They had become my friends and respected me. There were probably 30 kids there all with gifts and we were all in tears when I moved. It was a huge life lesson to me. I think kids are mean, because they are missing love in their life. There you asked and you got my response, now I will step off my soap box.

Alicia said...

Tell Landon I am proud of him too, hang in there.

Montay said...

Go Landon That is also just more proof (as if I needed it ) that you Ashlee are an awesome Mom way to teach him to be a good friend. I can not stand it when Cole comes home all sad He has a very hard time making friends at school and he even has a few friends that will play with him after school but will not play with him at school ( yeah I do not get that) I have no idea what to do with the "mean" kids I just tell him if they won't let you play then ask another person but even then he will come home and say he asked friend after friend and they would not play with him or he could not play the game they were playing until the bell rang and then they make fun of him when he gets upset because he had no one to play with I tell you I want to smack the crap out of them but I know that is not the answer As to Alicia how can you kill them with kindness if they won't even let you play near them and they make costant fun of you???

Christie said...

I hate those days, too, when you can tell by the look on their face that something has happened. I don't know why kids are mean, except that I'm sure it all stems from insecurities. I turn into a mama tiger when it happens. I don't like to see kids get picked on. Way to go for your little guy.

Sister Honey Bunch said...

First, I am in love with your kid. What a great friend he is.

Second. My brother was SUPER smart. He was also pretty athletic, but for some reason he got picked on too. He was 5 years older than me and I never let him know I heard what the kids said because he was my hero. I didn't want him to be embarrassed.

OK. Fast forward to now. My brother is so very successful. Happy marriage, 2 great sons in college and he's freaking rich. Because he was smart. And not ashamed of it. He always knew that he was going to be successful and provide a good life for his family and NEVER let those jerks get him down. He was able to let it roll off his back.

Now, how do we make sure Landon and Logan do the same thing?

Anonymous said...

That is my biggest fear with my kids going to school. I just hope that I can do a good job at home of showing love and support that no matter what happens they know that we love them.

AmyJ said...

I say pick him up from school. I think alot of the crap that kids deal with happens on the bus! i know it did when I was young.

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

hi ashlee -- mean people rot, but we don't have to choose to stoop to fit in with them. awesome how your little guy believes in (and acts on) standing up for his friends. i am way impressed with your guy and with his mama.

you're doing the right thing -- how you are advising him. great job mama. kathleen

Bonnie B. said...

Landon is my Hero! It is so hard to do the right thing, especially when no one else is.

Obviously, and sadly, these children don't get the same love and attention Landon gets. And, the way those other kids acted towards his friend only shows the lack of respect and kindness they are shown at home. I don't think the examples they have at home are very good. I agree with Ashlee...kill em' with kindness!

Shannon said...

my hat is off to you Ashlee for teaching Landon at home how to stand up for himself and his friends at just eight years old. It is amazing to me now days, how much more advanced and older the kids are acting at such young ages. My daughter is in first grade and I had a great conversation with her school teacher the other day. She has stuggled this year in her class and felt that most of her first graders were more like fourth and fifth graders. Kids are learning so much more at an earlier age now that it really is scary to send them out the door every day. Just remember that what you teach them in your home will stick with them forever. I'm proud of Landon!

i'm kelly said...

kids can definitely be sooo mean. that's one of the things i'm worried about having my boys grow up - having to deal with mean people. but i love your little guy. i love that he stood up for his friend!