Thursday, April 17, 2008

OCD alert! I need help!

I'm not kidding! The chaos that is my home is about to drive me batty. We moved into this house the first weekend of August. 8 months ago. Though this house is bigger than our last {because of the basement}, the upstairs level we are currently living on is smaller than the single level home we came from. Does that make sense? If not, let me spell it out for you....We came from a four bedroom house and crammed us into 1300 sq ft and three bedrooms.

We were already crammed into our last house, because when we got married, the hubby had a three bedroom house full of stuff, and I had a three bedroom apartment FULL of stuff. Yeah....Though we did get rid of a lot of stuff, we added another kid to our happy little family, which added her stuff to our mix. Again...does this make sense? My brain is on overload here.

So, we moved in, and everything we didn't "NEED" we kept in boxes and put it in the garage.

Yes, this means we have not been able to park in our garage. Or walk in it. Or get to anything in those boxes.

Life was "manageable". Sure, the computer desk had to be put in the dining room. Sure, there was no room for my scrapbooking supplies {I have a lot!}. But, we would manage, right? Sigh.

As I have previously explained, I have OCD tendencies. I can't handle chaos and clutter. It drives me insane. For four months, I did ok. But then I needed to get into my scrap supplies for Christmas projects. And half of my crafty supplies ended up being stacked along the wall in my dining room.

Don't even ask how we managed to find a place for a Christmas tree. But, it was only for one month right?

Then we started construction on the basement. Hallelujah! The end was in sight. We started the end of January. All of the things that we had stored in the basement {because the garage was full} had to be moved upstairs. Those items now line the wall in my dining room along with the rest of my stuff. {are you picturing this?}

So, we are crammed up to our noses in our own "stuff". There is a continual layering of sheet rock dust all over my furniture. I dust, and it magically reappears just like that *snapping fingers*.

We are almost three months into this whole construction thing. Next week we get texture and paint. We are near the end! But, we have been near the end for weeks now. I am frustrated. And, more than that...I am on the edge of insanity! It hasn't helped that all of this has taken place in the middle of winter and then our fabulous winter/spring we've got going on. Cold weather means we are stuck inside this hole.

I need to put everything away. You don't understand. My brain has tried to shut it all out. But, it's screaming at me now. My brain....won't be quiet. So, today....instead of working on my final projects like a good little student {I have to have them done by tomorrow} I got out the carpet cleaner.....and scrubbed. My couches, my carpet....for two hours. The couches made sense. Except that I have visiting teachers coming in about 45 minutes and my couches are still wet. Where are they going to sit? My brain didn't care! AND...we are replacing ALL of the carpet in the house when we put in the carpet for downstairs. We figured we'd just go all the way up the stairs and finish the house. The carpet here is b-a-d BAD. Gross! Not kidding. So, why did I clean the carpets? My brain told me to. Nothing is coming out of this carpet. We had them cleaned before we even moved in. Nothing is coming out of these fibers. Yet....I scrubbed. On my hands and knees because just pushing the vacuum part wasn't good enough. I used the upholstery attachment for couches....on the carpet.

Now, I know most of you are shaking your heads at this. You are thinking....she is INSANE. She is looney! You're right! But I can't help it. Things have to be JUST SO, and for 8 months THEY HAVEN'T BEEN! I can only take so much.

The hubby laughs at me. He walked in as I was scrubbing on the couches and just shook his head. He knew I had finally broke.

To make matters worse....tomorrow night he is tearing apart my kitchen and dining room so we can install hard wood floors on Saturday. Can I tell you how much I am freaking out over this? More chaos! More mess! I think I might just explode. And I'm not kidding. I told him I might just need to leave the house for the weekend. He asked where I was going....not a clue. Seriuosly...not a clue. But I don't know that I will be able to handle being here.

Let me further explain this one....

All of those things I told you were crammed into my dining room? Yeah....they will have to be moved somewhere else...along with the dining room table and six chairs, china cabinet, refrigerator and stove. Where will they be put? In my living room. Which means there will be nowhere to "be". My living room is tiny. Just enough room for couches and a coffee table. And since the family room is currently being built in the basement...we have crammed the tv into the living room. So, there will just be stacks of all our stuff...in the living room. While he destroys my kitchen and attempts to reassemble it.

So, this is an OCD alert! I need help. Talk me down! I'm not even kidding just a little bit. I can't even go and eat a tub of oreo cookie ice cream to make me feel better because I'm on an 8 week challenge!

This is my story. My story of chaos, clutter, construction, finals week, and....my OCD.

help.

19 comments:

~Virginia~ said...

there's always the reduced fat oreos! although they really don't taste that great. somehow your taste buds just know. sigh.

i'm the same way. i can rationalize chaos for a predetermined amount of time, but when it seems like there's no end in sight...i start to go a little batty.

it'll calm down soon, i'm sure. :) good luck on your finals!

Christie said...

First, skip the low fat oreos. Go straight for the Ben & Jerry's. You need full fat for this one.

Then take a deep breath, pack your bags, and move in with me for a while.

I could not handle it - I am so OCD, too.

Um, hang in there?

AmyJ said...

Umm, I don't know whether I should laugh, or cry. You sound seriously stressed girl! Let's go out. Call me!

AmyJ said...

Never mind. I'm calling you.

The Orton's said...

My skin is crawling just reading this because I am SO like this! My sympathies to you - I hope this ends FAST! Hang in there, you can do it!

Bridget said...

Oh, I can feel your pain. We had a fixer upper house in Boston for 3.5 years. It was in constant state of disarray that entire time! It is hard to have a calm brain when clutter and chaos is all around.

Go for a walk, eat that Ben & Jerry's Christie is talking about that is really making me want some too, and take a deep breath.

Good luck.

Momma Mary said...

You can come visit me! Little Monster is always on the prowl for a new Mommy! ;) Plus, my mom was here visiting last week, so you KNOW I cleaned my house all up!! Plus, coastal CA.. Beautiful! and Warm! no Snow!

Bonnie B. said...

Good grief! I'm totally not OCD, but I would be climbing the walls, too! Forget the 8 week challange...this is soooo much bigger than weight loss! If all else fails, come to my chaos, and snuggle with Jaxson.

i'm kelly said...

oh heavens... as i've been repeating to myself over and over - this too shall pass. just think how exciting - your gonna have a whole new house. what fun!

thanks for your sweet kind words today, i really appreciated hearing from you.

Ashlee said...

Thanks all for your kind words and for talking me down. Today is a new day {think Chicken Little}.

But seriously....I really appreciate your offers of sleepovers and for telling me it's ok to eat bad food. :0) And Amy....thanks for the call. It helped more than you know.

Cameron said...

girls are weird.

Cameron said...

:-)

It's almost over, and then you'll have a cool new basement to put everything in. Just close your eyes and ponder that for minute or two.

Montay said...

Ashlee girl come on over no wait don't I joined the eight week thing and went to Costco got the yummmy strawberrys and proceeded to eat about half a thing of them and well now me and the throne are best buds I tell you this because we all need to take baby steps just a little at a time moderation in all things a few strawberrys a little cleaning but yeah I am with you ( about two weeks ) HA HA HA..

Ashlee said...

Cam,
girls may be wierd...but boys have cooties!



Even!

TravelinOma said...

I understand!!

We remodeled our house many years 27 years ago. During that 10 months of disaster I had my 7th baby, tore ligaments in my knee, my husband had a respiratory arrest in an ambulance and almost died, the windows blew in and shattered all around the baby, the kids lived out of boxes and slept on the floor of the family room in a giant mess, and eventually I went into a chemical depression. Seriously. I still take the Rx. I'm still not over that horrible year!!!

But it has given me great material for my blog, and that's all that matters. You'll be a better blogger because of this experience.

Anderson's said...

Ashlee!
I am so glad to be back...but I am sorry that your life has fallen apart while I was away. Don't worry, I'm back. Come to my house while Zach is helping at your house. Call me!! Or I guess I'll call you and see what you are doing tomorrow.

sogratefultobemormon.wordpress.com said...

awh, i am so OCD like, too, in so many ways. but i use it for good! he he.

feel for ya sister. blessings, kathleen :)

ps. thanks for the awesome words about me being brave woman for talking this sunday in church. he he. that was sweet to read your note. yup, you rock :)

janethesane said...

I am a bit late but I wanted to remind you that scrubbing carpets burns A LOT of calories so a bit of ice cream won't rock the boat too much. I am an ennabler, I know.

Sister Sassy said...

Did you get my email?? I need you to send my your address girl :)

sounds like you're feeling a bit better, so glad too!